07 Feb My Reflections On Becoming a Father For The First Time
My Reflections On Becoming a Father For The First Time
To be upfront and honest, it was my wife that requested this article and I wasn’t exactly excited about having to write a piece that had nothing to do with helping the community of people that have come to read my articles over time.
That said, I have written a few pieces like these in the past and people tend to like them, so I thought why not, let’s give this a go.
It was a Wednesday some time in September of 2015 that I received a text message from my wife (who at the time was a FIFO Geologist and so spent most of her time in WA) to say she had missed her period. We had only 4 to 5 weeks before been on a 1-year wedding anniversary holiday cruising around the Bahamas where we had started trying and so I didn’t take much notice of the text. Amy was due to fly home that Friday and said she would use one of the pregnancy tests we had bought (in bulk from Costco, thinking we would need to test a number of times over the coming 6 months or possibly longer. We now have plenty leftover, should anyone need some, free to a good home) when getting home.
That Friday morning I had all but forgotten the text and had gone to work as I usually would on any other Friday, eagerly waiting to get home that afternoon to see my wife to give her a big sloppy kiss and hug after being away for a week at work. I walked in the door at around lunchtime and within a second of seeing my wife, I knew exactly what she was going to say.
“It’s positive, we are pregnant!”
I can remember that moment like it happened yesterday and from that moment on, my life had changed forever in the greatest way possible.
9 months later and on the 29th of May 2016 our little princess Amelia came into the world without too much fuss. It should be noted that my wife was a superwoman in her labour, never once screaming, never once asking for drugs and just put her mind to the task at hand. (Watch the BIRTH VLOG HERE if you like, don’t worry no gory bits) This isn’t surprising if you know my wife at all, as she is the most determined and headstrong woman I have ever met. It is one of the main reasons I love her so very much, but also the reason why we have some very heated debates over topics we disagree on, LOL. It is also a moment in time of pure pride that I could never explain in just words. You just have to experience the moment for yourself to get a full grasp of just how amazing a woman is to go through this process.
The next 4 days were spent in both the hospital and the Grand Hyatt (a program that our hospital runs to send mothers to a more comfortable and relaxing setting while being watched over by a midwife) before then being told you can now go home.
I remember that morning being 2 degrees as we walked out the entrance to the hotel. Amelia in hand and wrapped head to toe in about 1000 blankets; we were now on our own and were parents for the very first time. I remember feeling like I was a shoplifter taking something from a store and not paying for it. However, in this case there was no one coming to stop me. It was a weird sensation knowing just a few days earlier we were just a young couple in love, expecting the arrival of our first child, having no idea what to do when it came to taking care of a human life. Sure, we had been to all the classes and had bought all the books, but for anyone who has read them and had kids knows, they tell you nothing of what it will really be like. Nonetheless, here we were leaving the hotel and they were happy for us to just go home with this 4-day-old child’s life in our hands. Seriously, getting my drivers license took more preparation, and here I was with a little person’s life in my hands never once having had a lesson!
I drove slower than I ever have in my life, we arrived home, opened the front door into our cold Victorian House, cranked up the heater and sat down and just looked at each other in utter disbelief. OMG, she is real, this is real and we are really doing this! That very first moment on our own and sitting in our house, just the three of us, is one of those moments in time again, that you can only really get a sense of if you have gone through it yourself. I remember feeling the entire array of emotions in one swift moment. I was excited, happy, terrified, anxious, awake, asleep and god knows what else but most of all I remember feeling content. For the very first time in my life I knew this is exactly what I wanted to be doing, where I wanted to be and with exactly who I wanted to be doing it with.
For anyone that knows me well, they will tell you I am a floater and a drifter of ideas that never end. While I may have only had 4 jobs since I started working at the age of 15, I am always thinking of new ways I could change the world and trying to discover a way to be truly happy in life. Never acting on them though for fear of change and for fear of failure. However, in this very moment as I sat on the end of the bed with my wife and peered into the pram at our sleeping beauty, I knew I had found true happiness and never in life again would I question where to find it.
So, as I look back over the past 8 months, what have I learnt and what have I discovered in being a father for the first time? Sure, I could tell you how I have never slept so little in my life, how every day is a constant challenge, how some days I wish for just 5 minutes of quiet and alone time, how my wife and I rarely get 10 minutes alone together (let alone have sex anymore) or how I have seen things come out of a human that I cannot ever un-see.
However, as I sit here trying to write this article with Amelia crying in the back ground either hungry, needing a diaper changed or just being a grumpy toddler looking for attention, none of that matters (well, I would like to have more sex) as these two girls are my world and a simple smile from either of them is all it takes to make me happy again.
As the tears well up in my eyes just typing these words, I just want you the reader and my girls to know: I love these two more than life itself and becoming a father is the greatest thing I have ever done in my life and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I cannot wait for what the future holds for us and what life will throw at us, however I know we will be alright as long as we have each other.
It is my truest and most sincere hope that you get to discover the true happiness that I have found since becoming a father. It doesn’t have to come from becoming a parent, but please never settle for being unhappy in life. Never stop dreaming of what could be and never stop going after those dreams with all your heart and passion. Happiness is infectious and it spreads like a disease in the best way possible. This world and the people in it have become so focused on the very small minority of bad things that happen and the bad people in it. We have forgotten to tell the world just how good we have it and how good life really is. So, if you are still reading to this point, firstly thank you for your attention and secondly please share this article or share your own happy story, as you never know how your positivity could change the lives of the people around you.